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A few tips to help students get through the hallway quicker

Junior+Chris+Golab+holds+sophomore+Adam+Wolf+up+to+a+wall+for+trying+to+use+the+%E2%80%9Cjunior+hallway%E2%80%9D.+A+select+few+juniors+have+known+to+torture+underclassman+because+of+their+major+misconception+that+there+actually+is+a+%E2%80%9Cjunior+hallway%E2%80%9D.+
Junior Chris Golab holds sophomore Adam Wolf up to a wall for trying to use the “junior hallway”. A select few juniors have known to torture underclassman because of their major misconception that there actually is a “junior hallway”.

Junior Chris Golab holds sophomore Adam Wolf up to a wall for trying to use the “junior hallway”. A select few juniors have known to torture underclassman because of their major misconception that there actually is a “junior hallway”.

Photo by photo illustration by Zalen Niccolini

Photo by photo illustration by Zalen Niccolini

Junior Chris Golab holds sophomore Adam Wolf up to a wall for trying to use the “junior hallway”. A select few juniors have known to torture underclassman because of their major misconception that there actually is a “junior hallway”.


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Getting through the halls of Roncalli can be tricky, so I have a few proposals and ideas as to how to solve the situation. No matter what grade you are or what floor you’re on, here are a few tips to getting around Roncalli.

My first idea is to construct two giant cement walls in each hallway to create an express lane. Sometimes students have to get from one end of the freshman hallway to the other, and that is just too big of a challenge. My solution is simple, an express line in the main hallways would maximize speed. I must stress that this would NOT be a carpool lane, there is limited space. This line is not where you talk to your friends. This is where you rush to your class after talking to your friends for the first four minutes of the passing period.  Anyone found within the express line not maximizing its use will be forced to have a meeting with the dean of students.

My second solution is a bit more practical, though it does involve a change in some uniforms. Freshman uniforms will now feature velcro straps on the back end. This, combined with the wheels conveniently stationed around the school will combine for freshman skateboarding for quicker travel. Honestly, with the mockery at pep sessions and ultimate disregard for general conduct towards freshman, this has been a long time coming. More bold froshies may attempt to skate on others of their own kind, but be aware, a senior may take both of you to double board.

Now that the solutions that involve construction have been released, allow me to give some pointers that already are in existence. First is the hallway located around the corner from the main hallways, also called the junior hallway. The junior hallway is a great, fast, easy way of transportation… if you just happen to be a junior. If not, specifically talking to underclassman here (seeing as the majority of us juniors secretly fear the seniors), be warned from being in the hallway. Juniors are a vicious sort of species that commonly think they have “senioritis” when they are, in reality, no higher on the so-called “high school totem pole” than the rest of Roncalli. Interference with this species could result in: impatient, angry looks, or the always terrifying “move freshman”. If you don’t want to cower in fear at the all-powerful, barely-not underclassman, then stick to the other hallways.

So what are your solutions for getting through the hallway? Well, without an express line, freshmanboarding, or an efficient hallway, the short answer is you better leave class right after the bell rings.

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(In)Sufficient travel